17 December 2010
Things We Have Learnt from the Ashes So Far (Part Three)
Schadenfreude -- especially where the England cricket team is concerned -- is never a good idea.
12 December 2010
Broad's Loss Is XXX's Gain
Members of the Fast Bowlers' Union have been the focus this week, as an injury to Stuart Broad has ended his first overseas Ashes.
Or rather, they were the focus, until they failed to take a wicket in the final 124.4 overs of the match billed as a shoot-out for the vacated Test place.
Matt Prior, instead, took the headlines, in a game that provided little in the way of cricketing interest; little, that is, apart from a surge, at 55-4 in the second innings, in the old feeling -- familiar to any fan of England cricket between 1987 and 2003 -- that England were about to come unstuck. High/lowlights included 3 wickets for Paul 'God' Collingwood, and combined figures of 7 overs for 88 from Strauss and Morgan, with the captain doing his best attempt to polish faecal matter by taking his 3rd first-class wicket (and thus leading to the pub quiz question 'what ignominious cricketing fate links Kevin Pietersen, Stephen Fleming, and Michael Hill?').
So, in the interests of--well, interest, here are 3 alternative -- not entirely serious -- options for the Andies to consider as they ponder filling the Ashes hole.
1. Give Morgan a Go: Colly has proved beyond reasonable doubt that he's a world-class bowler, capable of tearing thro--or, at the very least, conjuring devastat--listen, at least his recent first-class record is better than Mitchell Johnson's, ok? England don't need another bowler. 5-man attack? Pah. 4-man? So last year. Morgan in at 5, Colly the superstar all-rounder at 6, Bell, Prior, and 3 bowlers.
2. Why not Monty? Rub it in the Aussies' faces: trouble finding one spinner, eh? We've got so many, we don't know what to do with them. Granted, playing two spinners on the bouncing, swinging deck at the WACA may not be a great idea, but it could just be a stroke of genius. Besides, Finn and Anderson will have them 7 down before lunch on the first day, anyway.
3. Go Local: there must be an England-qualified medium-fast journeyman languishing somewhere in Australian grade cricket. (Does the name Darren Pattinson ring any bells?) No, we don't need to go looking, but it might make the Aussies feel a bit better about their selectorial machinations. (Isn't Schadenfreude great?)
Not that it really matters. After Stuart Broad's golden duck and MJ's 32-ball 0 at Brisbane, Ryan Harris's Adelaide pair, and 4 wickets in 7 innings between the three of them, England's new no. 8 doesn't have a lot to live up to.
Or rather, they were the focus, until they failed to take a wicket in the final 124.4 overs of the match billed as a shoot-out for the vacated Test place.
Matt Prior, instead, took the headlines, in a game that provided little in the way of cricketing interest; little, that is, apart from a surge, at 55-4 in the second innings, in the old feeling -- familiar to any fan of England cricket between 1987 and 2003 -- that England were about to come unstuck. High/lowlights included 3 wickets for Paul 'God' Collingwood, and combined figures of 7 overs for 88 from Strauss and Morgan, with the captain doing his best attempt to polish faecal matter by taking his 3rd first-class wicket (and thus leading to the pub quiz question 'what ignominious cricketing fate links Kevin Pietersen, Stephen Fleming, and Michael Hill?').
So, in the interests of--well, interest, here are 3 alternative -- not entirely serious -- options for the Andies to consider as they ponder filling the Ashes hole.
1. Give Morgan a Go: Colly has proved beyond reasonable doubt that he's a world-class bowler, capable of tearing thro--or, at the very least, conjuring devastat--listen, at least his recent first-class record is better than Mitchell Johnson's, ok? England don't need another bowler. 5-man attack? Pah. 4-man? So last year. Morgan in at 5, Colly the superstar all-rounder at 6, Bell, Prior, and 3 bowlers.
2. Why not Monty? Rub it in the Aussies' faces: trouble finding one spinner, eh? We've got so many, we don't know what to do with them. Granted, playing two spinners on the bouncing, swinging deck at the WACA may not be a great idea, but it could just be a stroke of genius. Besides, Finn and Anderson will have them 7 down before lunch on the first day, anyway.
3. Go Local: there must be an England-qualified medium-fast journeyman languishing somewhere in Australian grade cricket. (Does the name Darren Pattinson ring any bells?) No, we don't need to go looking, but it might make the Aussies feel a bit better about their selectorial machinations. (Isn't Schadenfreude great?)
Not that it really matters. After Stuart Broad's golden duck and MJ's 32-ball 0 at Brisbane, Ryan Harris's Adelaide pair, and 4 wickets in 7 innings between the three of them, England's new no. 8 doesn't have a lot to live up to.
7 December 2010
Things We Have Learnt from the Ashes So Far (Part Two)
- Cook must be loving this Ashes lark: after two Tests, though his average has plummeted from 302 to a measly 225, the young opener appears to be doing his best to grind my gloomy comments into the dust; the horrific 2009 series, in which a first innings 95 was the only score above 32, and he failed 5 times on a score of smaller than 11, is a distant memory.
- KP is back to his confident, nay, obnoxiously arrogant best: the wicket of Michael Clarke on the fourth evening was the unnecessary cherry on the cake of an English double-centurion who has finally banished the demons that have plagued him in recent years -- not only did he spend much of his 227 taking apart one Australian left-arm spinner, but the dismissal of Clarke, fittingly, saw him dismiss another.
- Swann is bowling like a match-winner: not that this is particularly unexpected, but I thought it was worthy of note, if only because I was very close to including something along the lines of 'Swanny needs to buck his ideas up' in my last post. Good job I decided not to, then.
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