Broad's Loss Is XXX's Gain

Members of the Fast Bowlers' Union have been the focus this week, as an injury to Stuart Broad has ended his first overseas Ashes.

Or rather, they were the focus, until they failed to take a wicket in the final 124.4 overs of the match billed as a shoot-out for the vacated Test place.

Matt Prior, instead, took the headlines, in a game that provided little in the way of cricketing interest; little, that is, apart from a surge, at 55-4 in the second innings, in the old feeling -- familiar to any fan of England cricket between 1987 and 2003 -- that England were about to come unstuck. High/lowlights included 3 wickets for Paul 'God' Collingwood, and combined figures of 7 overs for 88 from Strauss and Morgan, with the captain doing his best attempt to polish faecal matter by taking his 3rd first-class wicket (and thus leading to the pub quiz question 'what ignominious cricketing fate links Kevin Pietersen, Stephen Fleming, and Michael Hill?').

So, in the interests of--well, interest, here are 3 alternative -- not entirely serious -- options for the Andies to consider as they ponder filling the Ashes hole.

1. Give Morgan a Go: Colly has proved beyond reasonable doubt that he's a world-class bowler, capable of tearing thro--or, at the very least, conjuring devastat--listen, at least his recent first-class record is better than Mitchell Johnson's, ok? England don't need another bowler. 5-man attack? Pah. 4-man? So last year. Morgan in at 5, Colly the superstar all-rounder at 6, Bell, Prior, and 3 bowlers.

2. Why not Monty? Rub it in the Aussies' faces: trouble finding one spinner, eh? We've got so many, we don't know what to do with them. Granted, playing two spinners on the bouncing, swinging deck at the WACA may not be a great idea, but it could just be a stroke of genius. Besides, Finn and Anderson will have them 7 down before lunch on the first day, anyway.

3. Go Local: there must be an England-qualified medium-fast journeyman languishing somewhere in Australian grade cricket. (Does the name Darren Pattinson ring any bells?) No, we don't need to go looking, but it might make the Aussies feel a bit better about their selectorial machinations. (Isn't Schadenfreude great?)

Not that it really matters. After Stuart Broad's golden duck and MJ's 32-ball 0 at Brisbane, Ryan Harris's Adelaide pair, and 4 wickets in 7 innings between the three of them, England's new no. 8 doesn't have a lot to live up to.

Things We Have Learnt from the Ashes So Far

• Cook's place is probably not under threat: an average of 310 in the 2010 Ashes to date will do wonders for a batsman's self-confidence.
• Trott is yet to play an Ashes test without making a hundred: statistics never lie. Ok, so it's a fairly small sample, but it's the sort of thing to get up the collective nose of an Ozzie attack. Speaking of which...
• Doherty and Johnson are no Warne and McGrath: with combined match figures of 90.5-15-318-2 (an amalgam that actually does Xavier Doherty a disservice, as both the wickets were his), these two are unlikely to give England's batsmen any sleepless nights. I'd say Doherty's place is safe for now (Smith's single wicket against WA is unlikely to have XD [isn't that a smiley face of some sort?] quaking in his boots), but Harris and Bollinger are breathing down Johnson's neck -- I'd expect at least one of them to come in (with, possibly, Hilfenhaus making way as well).
• An England series win is still a possibility: ok, so that was hardly going to be overturned by a single test, but I'll take any opportunity to put a positive spin on things -- my prediciton is still on. (I'm going for 2-1.)

EDIT: Cook's average is 302, not 310, not that it matters much...