Cricket's Coming 'Home'...Briefly

This morning -- well, afternoon; it's all relative, hemispherically speaking -- Team England crawled over the finish line, two days into the fourth month of a tour of Australia that has seen, for all the hype surrounding the Test series, mixed results.

Tour matches

Opponents: Western Australia, South Australia, Australia A, Victoria, Prime Minister's XI

England's Record: 3-0; W (6 wickets), D, W (10 wickets), D, W (7 wickets, D/L)

Verdict: An undeniable English success. Three comfortable wins, and two draws in which England lost only 20 wickets in four innings, and outscored their opponents 1305-857.

Tests

Record: 3-1; D, W (inn + 71r), L (267r), W (inn + 157r), W (inn + 83r)

Verdict: Another England victory. Unlike last time, this was fully deserved: the century count, a bone of contention among Aussie pundits in 2009, was England 9, Australia 3. Wickets taken was another battle won by the English: they took 91, bowling the Aussies out on every occasion except the 2nd innings in Brisbane; Australia managed only 56, bowling England out 5 times.

T20s

Record: 1-1; W (1 wicket, last ball), L (4 runs)

Verdict: Not so much a contest in which the teams won a game each, as one in which the scores were level after each failed to win one. Australia probably edge it, with two 50-plus scores (Watson and Finch) to England's one plus-40 (Morgan).

ODIs

Record: 1-6; LLLWLLL

Verdict: Hmmm.

So there you have it: a tour in which England dominated the longer format with an ease that was at times embarrassing, but that saw a resurgence from Australia in the shorter forms of the game. And with a World Cup imminent, England's shortcomings on the one-day field are likely to obliterate any residual feelings of euphoria over a third Ashes win this century.

Why I Want Ricky Ponting to Win the Ashes...Maybe

Don't get me wrong.

Come midnight tonight -- well, that's if I can be bothered to stay up into the night for a contest between the teams world-ranked, as Andy Zaltzman puts it, fourth [and] fifth. Out of, basically, 8 -- I'll be cheering Strauss & Co. on like your next cricket-obsessed English loon. (Incidentally, doesn't 'Strauss & Co.' sound like a gentlemen's outfitters from the late 19th century?)

And if there's one figure in world cricket I truly despise, it is Ricky 'sour grapes' Ponting, with his face like a constipated bulldog chewing a wasp wrapped in a cow-pat. (Actually, maybe that's what he has been chewing, all these years. Would explain a lot.)

The fact is, though, that Ricky Ponting, loath him or dislike him, is one of the greatest cricketers to walk the face of the earth. Yes, he whinges a fair bit, but he's second only to The Don in the batting rankings of a country that has produced a fair few good cricketers; ok, so he has a slight weakness on the legside, now that his flexibility and footwork aren't what they used to be, but he scored so many runs at under-13 level club cricket (507 in 7 innings, with an average of 507) that they had to change the rules governing when a batter should retire.* And he may not appear to be the most dazzling of Ozzie captains -- his propensity to bat when winning the toss is reaching near-pathological levels -- he is still, as David Boots argues, one of the most successful skippers ever.

I don't particularly want to see such greatness -- the word is overused, but not, I believe, in this case -- trashed because Punter happens to be only the third Australian captain in history to lose 3 Ashes series. Firstly, given the current ICC standings, does The Ashes really matter all that much? And secondly, it's not like Australia were trounced in either of the other two: in 2005, England were handed a giant stroke of luck when a cricket ball, for once, didn't do what Glenn McGrath wanted it to; in 2009, Australia were not so much beaten into submission as bored into it by a dogged 10/11 partnership.

So it is with mixed emotions that I predict an England series win this time around.** It will be great if we do inflict another defeat on a faltering long-term adversary; I just wish the losing captain had scored a few fewer than 12,250 Test runs.





*Sorry, you're relying on my memory for this, as I can't find a link to the article -- it was in one of the UK national broadsheets at the weekend, though.

**Given the success of my last prediction, in which I failed to even predict the number of players England would take on tour, let alone their names, I'd take this with a huge lump of salt.

Old Kids on the Block

'Underestimating the Australian cricket team' is an activity that comes about as recommended as taking one's eye off a bouncing football at a crucial moment, even after weeks of press coverage had focused on the unpredictable aerodynamics of said missile, or daring to publicly mourn the loss of a foreign religious leader whose values were opposed to the pro-Israeli opinions held by your supposedly 'objective' and 'liberal' employers (ouch...enough with the politics). And in the time of a McGrath-Warne or Thompson-Lillee partnership, it is one in which an England team could certainly not have been accurately accused of indulging.

Yet the success of the England team in the recent ODI series over their antipodean antagonists, and the somewhat unlikely triumph at the World T20, have started murmurings about a showing in Brisbane in November fit to banish memories of a certain Harmison-Flintoff-second slip incident 4 years ago.

Luckily, such rumblings have not emanated from the two most important figures in the England set-up, The Two Andies ('It's goodbye from him...'). The plain-spoken honesty (is there any other kind? I'm slipping into journalese, myself) of Messrs Strauss and Flower has been praised in recent days by Andy Bull. Underestimating the Aussies -- like overestimating the English -- is not, on this evidence, an option.

And looking at the result from the first neutral Test at Lord's in 98 years, this appears to be a good thing. Not because of the potency of a new generation of potent young pace bowlers: the two men who almost single-handedly took apart the Pakistani team on the second and fourth afternoons at Lord's -- Shane Watson (5-40) and Marcus North (6-55) -- were a 29-year-old journeyman seamer now better known for his batting and a 30-year-old part-time tweaker. Simon Katich's battling pair of 80s won him the man-of-the-match award for Australia, but the two names to join batsmen Charles Kelleway and Warren Bardsley on the neutral Test honours board in the visitors' dressing room at The Home of Cricket were bowlers. England, watch out.